Wednesday, 19 January 2011
Last week I watched Season of the Witch (which was a thoroughly enjoyable fantasy romp btw). But I watched it with gritted teeth, thanks to one thing: Nicholas Cage.
I have an anti-crush on Nicholas Cage. It's completely irrational. I recoil from the sight of him. My skin crawls. And it makes no sense at all - it's not like he's done anything to earn my dislike. I'm sure the gentleman is perfectly lovely in real life, though I know next to nothing about him except that he's a big comics fan, which ought to endear him to me. He called his son Kal-El for chrissakes, which wins a Geek Gold Medal: he is one of us. And he seems to deliberately pick roles in films that I'm going to be really tempted to watch: National Treasure, Season of the Witch, The Sorcerer's Apprentice, Kick-Ass. Not classics of cinema any of them, but fun fantasy movies with a bit of thought put into them.
Which is a bit unfortunate really. Because the trailer for a new film is unveiled and I shout "Aargh -It's Nick bloody Cage! Again!"
And take a look: by the book, I should really fancy many of the characters he plays. The pictures here tick every one of my boxes - in theory. He goes out of his way to oblige my fantasies - I like grizzled, crusty, battered guys. I like action heroes. I like bald-at-the-front-long-hair-at-the back!* I even thought that Balthazar (in The Sorcerer's Apprentice) was a really romantic character - he's been separated from his true love for centuries but he hides his pain in order to tutor the movie's poxy ungrateful hero. Then Cage opened his mouth and this horrible drawling mumble came out and I went Eurghhhhhh.
It's the voice, at least partly. And the weak chin - he does remind me of Jake "Haddock" Gyllenhaal. But I shouldn't revile a guy just because I don't fancy him. And I shouldn't not fancy him. I can only think someone has innoculated me with the Nicholas Cage Anitgen while I wasn't looking.
Is it just me? What about you? Have you got a completely baseless, irrational, anti-crush on someone famous?
*Hey, someone has to.
For a rundown of the Bad Haircuts of Nicholas Cage, check this out :-)