I'm a writer of erotic fiction, mostly of a paranormal/fantasy bent. Welcome to my Blog! Adults only please ... you know the drill. All commenters welcome. All text copyright Janine Ashbless unless otherwise stated.
This truly magnificent video and very catchy track has been quite controversial recently, it appears. Politicians have been parading their shocked tears. Because it's okay for male rappers to go on about how horny they are feel, but if women do it they are a threat to civilisation. You can read all about it here if you like.
The version above, by the way, is the censored one. Full and filthy lyrics here:
And if you think any of this is new, Whores of Yore has an EPIC Twitter thread about blues lyrics by women in the 1920s and 30s that will make your jaw drop and your hair curl!
"I got nipples on my titties big as the end of my thumb
I got somethin' 'tween my legs 'll make a dead man come.
....
Say I fucked all night, and all the night before baby,
And I feel just like I wanna, fuck some more”.
All power to those wonderful women who fiercely own their sexual desire! 💖👿💖
I saw the original stage show (video below) in London many years ago and I remember it as being weirdly sexy (in a "let's-not-mention-this" kinda way). From where we sat below the stage it seemed to be an endless parade of lithe lycra-clad butts and crotches gyrating in our faces. Needless to say, I loved it 😁😁😁
Which of course made me think of the GREATEST DUCK SONG OF ALL TIME
(written by Alan Moore, probably after some funny mushrooms I'm guessing)
"Everyone thinks they're such sweet little things
Ducks, Ducks! Quack, Quack! Quack, Quack!
Soft downy feathers and nice little wings
Ducks, Ducks! Quack, Quack! Quack, Quack!
But there's a poison I'd like to administer,
You think they're cuddly but I think they're sinister.
Ducks, Ducks! Quack, Quack! Quack, Quack!
Ducks, Ducks! Quack, Quack! Quack, Quack!
What are they doing at night in the park?
Think of them waddling about in the dark.
Sneering and whispering and stealing your cars,
Reading pornography, smoking cigars.
Nasty and small, undeserving of life.
They smirk at your hairstyle and sleep with your wife.
Dressed in black jackets and horrible shoes,
Getting divorces and turning to booze.
Forcing old ladies to throw them some bread.
Who could deny they'd be better off dead?
Look closer and you may recoil in surprise,
At web-footed fascists with mad little eyes.
Ducks, Ducks! Quack, Quack! Quack, Quack!
Ducks, Ducks! Quack, Quack! Quack, Quack!
Ducks, Ducks! Quack, Quack! Quack, Quack!
Ducks, Ducks! Quack, Quack! Quack, Quack!"
This is my annual post where I look back at the cultural touchstones of the year.
Best Movie:
I saw very few films this year, sadly, because my regular movie-buddy upped and moved to Nottingham, and then I moved house, so was too busy on most weekends with Painting Everything White.
Of the paltry 13 I saw on the big screen, my faves were:
1) Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
2) Avengers: Infinity War
3) Deadpool 2
Best Book:
Sapiens just bowled me over - it's a history of humankind which focuses on the big forces not the events, and has a way of taking everything you thought you knew and framing it in completely unexpected ways. All I can say is that the section on the development of share-based capitalism was riveting, which was one hell of a surprise to me, I can tell you!
Best TV:
We finally finished watching Breaking Bad this year! I've also enjoyed the second series of Westworld, the first few series of Justified, Inside Number 9, Black Mirror, Altered Carbon, The Terror ... but my greatest love this year went to two very different series:
A piratical romp:
And a philosophy-based sitcom:
Best DVD/Download:
I actually managed to catch up on a few movies I should have seen at the cinema (The Quiet Place, I Fight Giants, Black Panther) but my fave off-the-shelf finds were a Bollywood horror:
And a piece of 1970s family entertainment complete with embarrassing blackface and execrable SFX.:
Best Music:
Oh pooey, I've let my musical tastes fall into a bit of a rut this year! There were new albums from old faves Frank Turner and Muse, but I've only been to one live gig 😞
New-to-me bands whose CDs I've been listening to are: Heilung, Madisen Ward and the Momma Bear and Greta Van Fleet...
Best Picture:
Elon Musk is busy devolving from Bruce Wayne into Doctor Octopus, but THIS WAS AWESOME:
May 2019 be the year we start to raise our collective selves from the gutter to the stars...
Last week, for my birthday, a friend took me to see The Alarm,Wales' finest Eighties export. Mike Peters is pretty old now, but still does a stonking live show! They're full of incredible energy and absolutely buoyed up by the adoration of their fans.
If you have fond memories of the group, I'd absolutely recommend seeing this latest incarnation while the chance exists.
I worked out that it was 1990 when I saw them last... OMG!
So last night I went to see The War of the Worlds concert show in Leeds...
It's 120 years (ish) since the first serial publication of the SF novel by H G Wells, and 40 years since the release of the iconic prog-rock album by Jeff Wayne:
Wayne is back to conduct a full orchestra and rock band on the concert tour, which also features a bunch of guest soloists, enthusiastic CGI of aliens invading Victorian England
and whizzy stagecraft - a Pepper's Ghost of Liam Neeson (the Narrator) and a Tripod that shoots real flames over the audience being the highlight.
It was a glorious musical/nostalgia evening and I may have drunk too much wine... if you do get the chance to see the tour I thoroughly recommend it!
While we on holiday in lovely sunny Dorset (Brrrrr!) last week, we watched a whole lot of Black Sails. It's the series you want if you like pirates but found Pirates of the Caribbean just too damn silly, and woefully deficient in lesbian sex:
There are boobs, bums and cocks in Black Sails, which is why it's here on my blog 😈 Also, two series in, we've seen two poly threesomes, which is pretty heartening ... even if there's no guarantee that the individuals won't have betrayed each other twice before tea. Characters in Black Sails change their allegiances with dizzying frequency.
It's a giant, high-speed political soap opera really, with a background of sailing ships and mass murder. Every action has unforeseen (and usually terrible) consequences. The premise (if you are even further behind the curve than me and need to be told) is that it's set twenty years before Treasure Island, so there's a really clever mixture of fictional characters like Long John Silver and Captain Flint ...
Frank Turner puts my reaction to the last few years into verse 😨😭😣
The first time it was a tragedy, The second time it's a farce. Outside it's 1933, so I'm hitting the bar. But I don't know what's going on anymore - The world outside is burning with a brand new light, But it isn't one that makes me feel warm; Don't go mistaking your house burning down for the dawn.
This 1958 single, "Rumble," by Link Wray, was - believe it or not - the only instrumental track to be banned by American radio stations! It featured the first (improvised) fuzzbox.
One of the cultural highlights of our Silk Road holiday was attending the World Nomad Games closing ceremony ... which was quite a lot like Eurovision circa 1978, tbh.
I will leave you to picture our incredulous faces as camp German popband Dschinghis Khan came on - in fake leather mini-skirts - in front of a crowd of nomad-descended, ex-Soviet nationals, to perform their Eurohits "I'm a Rocking Son of Genghis Khan" and "Moscow".
