Get Xcited for free

Free smut alert!

Xcite Books (winner of the Erotic Trade Organisation "Best Book Brand" 2010, 2011 and 2012) has repackaged two of my short stories into new anthologies called Xcite Delights

Xcite Delights Book 1 is FREE right now for download!

The story lineup is as follows:

• Behind the Blue Door by Charlotte Stein
• Skyggen by Giselle Renarde
• No Running, No Petting by Janine Ashbless (follow link for excerpt)
• Alive by Clarice Clique
• The Untouchable Tabby by Lana Fox
• Soul of Discretion by Mary Borsellino
• Personal Trainer by K D Grace
• The Naughty Rich Girl by Angela Goldsberry

So what are you waiting for? If I can download, anyone can!

---

NB: There is also an Xcite Delights Book 2, which contains my Valentine's story Shot to the Heart - but that's £1.99

See all Ashbless books and audio at Xcite

Eyecandy Monday

Where were all the womenfolk when all the men were out doing manly sporting manly stuff last week? In the kitchen baking, of course...

I might even show you my cake later this week :-)

Late late late late aaaargh

Bonny King Charles

I went to see a King Charles gig this week - he's doing 30 shows in 30 days, the mad fool - but was very alarmed to see that he has given up the effete moustache in favour of a scruffy beard, and the floppy shirt in favour of a leather jacket. Also there was headbanging and vigorous guitar action and the audience pogoed.

Stop it sir! You are not supposed to look hot! You are not supposed to rock out! You are supposed to be in the same bracket as the Mumfords, who manage to attain between the lot of them the sex-appeal of a dead duck:

That's what folkies should be like

;-)

For your musical delectation, here's King Charles' updated version of We Didn't Start the Fire:

My shame revealed

Here it is.

And here, laid bare for all the world to see:

Yes, I bought a Kindle.

I've been downloading books for a while onto my PC. Research for my novel, and erotica on irresistible special offer, mostly. The thing is, I do not read on the PC. I just don't. I read on the toilet, and in bed, and occasionally on the sofa, but put me in front of a web-connected PC and I can't concentrate.

Bad Janine.

So at last I said "soddit" and bought an e-reader, which means that once again I can take my research and my erotica into the loo with me. Huzzah! Interestingly, I have bought more books since this purchase than probably in the entire previous year.

I'm afraid the very first one I read through on my new toy, though, was George Takei's Oh Myyy!(There goes the internet).
Quite.

And the really great thing is, I still download stuff onto my PC and it just APPEARS ON MY KINDLE BY MAGIC!!  I'm a wizard!

---

(The Alice cover, by the way, was made by Klevercase and I bought it here. I love it to bits. I may love it more than the actual Kindle. I did struggle a bit choosing between Alice and a classic Dracula cover!)

Eyecandy Monday

I do believe that Spring has finally come to Land of Mud! Huzzah! A brief window of opportunity for blokes to get their tops off and do manly stuff outdoors - while I watch them:

Climbing...

Sailing...

Life-guarding ...

Playing football ...

Hangin' out with livestock...

Hoss-wrestlin'...

Seriously, wtf is going on here?

And boating.

I know this one's still got his shirt on but ... Uh, what was I saying ...?

And after all those sweaty exertions ... let's hope they get washed nice and clean ;-)

I just threatened to have her legs amputated

Lost in Translation

This is, I'm led to believe, the German edition of Fairy Tale Lust (which includes my short story Sleep Tight). I have no clue at all what the translation of the title is, but it's out in May :-)

Ye olde original

This is also the first indication I've seen that Cleis Press is selling books to the (appreciative) German erotica market. Hmmm. I wonder how the Germans feel about fallen angels...?

Burning Man

More inspiration for my Cover Him With Darkness novel - I've just sent my heroine off to the Burning Man Festival in Nevada ... because I really want to go myself - though I doubt I ever will. I know, I've travelled quite a bit, but I think BM is going to remain a Lifetime Ambition. Logistics too difficult (you need to take your own water and domicile into the middle of the desert), too expensive, too damn difficult to get hands on the tickets. And America is sorta scary, you know.

Burning Man, in case you haven't heard of it, is an interactive arts festival ... sort of. Fifty thousand people get together annually in the middle of nowhere to build a temporary city and go NUTS, risking sunstroke, bankruptcy and emotional breakdown for the sake of an experience unlike any other.

Every year, a new Temple is built - and burned

Depending on who you are, it can be giant frat party or a moment of life-changing spirituality. It's psychically (and to some extent physically) dangerous.

Clothing seems to be entirely optional...

But if you do wear some you should strive for mad-as-a-weasel:

They build a giant wicker man...

The Man looks different every year too

and every year they burn him at the end of the event:

Then everyone packs up and goes home and nothing is left behind but the empty playa.

Wow.

"Azazel would love this, I realized."

Some great pics here

Eyecandy Monday

My parents are here today so my Eyecandy must be fully clothed:

There - that's perfectly decent, isn't it?

Staring at the Wall

Just ask Mr Ashbless...

My BABY!!

It's here - clocking in at a respectable 1 lb and 14.2 ounces, my bouncing baby hardback copy of Geek Love! How I adore it - from its cute little contents page to its lovely little Kickstarter credits!

And of course I will bore you all with baby pics, as is my right:

What a pretty face!

It's got its daddy's eyes...

And its mommy's, um, mouth ...

It's got its endpapers from Uncle Lee and its pin-up from Auntie Jen

 But I am particularly proud of p102:

And, seriously, it's got my arse...

If you didn't back the Kickstarter, you can of course still buy the e-book
 (PDF version recommended)

Eastercon: the photos

So at Easter, I went to ... Eastercon!

It might look sunny, but snow was piled up on the sidewalks.

It's an annual SF/Fantasy convention with an emphasis on books rather than other media, and it's been going since the 1940s. Wow!

The first thing I thought when I arrived was, "Goddamn, I should be wearing a beard."

There were a lot of panel discussions, and  I sat on two of them.
"Editing and Being Edited", in which I tried my best to plug "Geek Love":

Me sitting next to Bella Pagan of Tor books - probably the nearest I'll ever get to a mainstream publisher!

And "Robert E Howard and H P Lovecraft," which - despite the serious faces - was a lot of fun for me because I ranted about the sexuality in their work and everyone else looked a bit nervous:

NB: Sarah Newton is currently writing the "Achtung Cthulhu!" game ... I want!

I also attended a lot of panels, and watched the new season premier of Doctor Who in a hall with 700 rabid fans ...

... and went out for a curry (well, it was Bradford, it would be crime not to) and did a (mostly clean) reading:

And watched a couple of Lovecraft films and signed some books and ate a ton of junk food and TALKED to loads of people, old friends and new ones and total strangers. And I met Paul Cornell at last.

I had lots of fun, and though I'd describe myself as too introverted to cope with this sort of thing for long, I seem - bizarrely enough - to be signed up for two more cons this year - Nine Worlds Geekfest and World Fantasy Con. I'm exhausted already!

Here I am with Adrian Tchaikovsky, author of the Shadows of the Apt fantasy series:

See? I so need a beard...

Adrian and I co-wrote a novella, Reading Between the Lines (NOT erotica: dark fantasy) a while back, and it's about to be published by Pandemonium Press this May.

Isn't this the most beautiful cover by Vincent Sammy!

Pandemonium specialise in high-quality extremely limited edition collectable print runs, so you'd have to sign up to their newsletter to get even a chance of ordering this book. But I think it's sorta cool.

Eyecandy Monday

---

I've just been to a 1920's LARP weekend as an Unconvincing Fake Nun (my "real" character was disguise); telling people I did "missionary things ... with little orphaned babies ... that sort of stuff."

That still made me way more convincing than the nuns in the Eyecandy pic above! And I was not even a bit naughty, I might add. For a start, it was too bloody cold in Featherstone Castle to take my coat off. Also, where would I have kept my revolver?

Relatively plausible

Not plausible

The trope of the Naughty Nun, btw, has a veeeeeeeery long history in art and literature:

Heinrich Lossow: The Sin (1880)

Tell people "this is not allowed" - and what happens? They want it even more.