Spam spam spam spam

This has nothing to do with anything, but I just wanted to share my spam with the world. Recently I've been receiving fewer enticing offers from French pharmaceutical companies ("Votre libido enorme!"); my inbox has instead been filled with hopeful mail from purveyors of fake designer watches. Bad targeting there, guys. I don't think that I have ever in my whole life noticed whether a bloke was even wearing a watch, never mind what type it was (I was probably too busy looking at his crotch  nice hair). So, like, what's the attraction of a fake Rolex?

Then all my questions were answered, as one of my spam slices came through helpfully entitled:  "You will look like Hollywood actor if you wear Swiss watches. Even if you have no money to take a taxi others will think that you forgot your wallet." This was just the title, mark you.

How endearingly optimistic! If you wear a big watch, people will respect you when you catch the bus.  If you take these diet supplements you will feel energetic and filled with life.  If your cock were only an inch longer, women would be queuing up to have sex with you.
Ah, if only life were really that simple.
:-)

The men in the kinky lace-up wetsuits, btw, are Nazi Kampfschwimmers, synchronising their Rolex-Panerai watches. Yeah, I bet they never had to worry that they'd look silly if they didn't take a taxi.