Friday, 6 February 2009
Superheroines In RSI Peril
Do you think you, as a writer of erotic fiction, have got it bad*? Are you gritting your teeth with exasperation as you write another f/f scene and try to disambiguate "her mouth" from "her nipples" yet again? Then spare a thought for the poor overworked writers of AIF!
AIF is Adult Interactive Fiction - Adult as in naughty, and Interactive Fiction as in computerised text adventures. You know the sort of thing: the computer says "You enter a large dark room. In the room is a pedestal on which stands a mechanical device with a lot of wires. Chained to the pedestal is a naked woman. From the shadows comes a nasty growling noise." Then you are free to examine or interact with any of the described features in the room, in any order you like (and if you Examine the woman, interact with various bits of her body) and it's up to the writer to have anticipated every likely permutation and have written a coherent storyline to take you onward.
My friend Lucilla Frost, award-winning AIF writer, has sent me an e-mail bemoaning her lot:
"Of course, the problem with a Superheroines-in-peril story is, well, they're superheroines. Thank god I gave them multi-syllabic names so I can call them Jen, Jenny, Jennifer and Ellie, Eleanore. But there's still too much "she licked her pussy" - these being superheroines does this mean she has a super stretchy neck (or tongue)? or has the author just changed character again? The scene I'm grinding away at (and I don't mean grinding in a fun way :-( ) involves two characters, both women (so six slots, plus two sets of breasts), four items of furniture (a bed, a chair, a desk and a bath (which can be full, part full or empty of water)), three toys (a dildo (hurrah, we have a tab), a strap and a set of handcuffs), four positions (standing, lying, sitting, bent over), and there are two-and-a-half types of 'interaction' (lick, rub and screw) (plus since I'm writing this there is also 'spank' and 'beat').
So if I was consigned to hell and this was my task I would have to write unique sequences in which each of the characters used each of the interactions on each of the target areas in each of the possible locations (and don't forget the floor) in each of the positions with/without the handcuffs being worn. And good form would also suggest that there be a 'for the first time' 'again' and 'default'. Plus masturbation. And now I'm going to go kill myself. Except they'd probably send me to hell.
The code for Navy Fox's pussy is now over 2000 lines long (although many of these consist of a single curly bracket). It's a good thing I'm borderline obsessive."
I'm actually off to spend the weekend with Lucilla. We plan to talk about writing smut, drink a lot of gin and watch some old-time Doctor Who - The Horror of Fang Rock. Poor, poor us!
*The honest answer to that is "No, actually."