"Gerard & Jacques"

I love my local library. In the Young Adults section it has a couple of cases of graphic novels, which is good news for me because my own graphic novel bookcase at home is FULL, plus I get to explore the world of Manga comics for free. Manga is good for pretty-boy heroes (and villains) and steamy m/m romance. This week's discovery was Gerard & Jacques by Fumi Yoshinaga, which is set during the French Revolution and is more or less Mills 'n' Boon with blokes ... if Mills & Boon did anal rape that is.

I really have no idea if the librarians realise what's inside the covers of this book. It amuses the hell out of me to think that what we have here is public-funded free porn for teenagers - and porn it is, of the most artistic sort: erect cocks, cum-shots, semen spilt on young men's lips and all. I certainly have no intention of bringing the contents to public notice: I was avidly reading the dirty bits in adult novels from about age 10 myself, and see no reason other generations should be deprived of my education. (And believe me, I was far from the poster-girl for underage promiscuity.)

Huzzah for local government!

... That's Nobody's Business But the Turks

And that's what I call a suggestive landscape! Yes, I'm still wallowing around in Turkey for my current story. The picture above was taken in Cappadocia, which is an extraordinary region where the soft volcanic stone has been weathered into forms politely known as "fairy chimneys". They sort of remind me of something other than chimneys. But maybe I have a dirty mind. ;-)

Google/Images "cappadocia" for more amazingly phallic landforms. Better still, go there on holiday like wot I did. Every erotica writer needs a place they feel at home...

And here's another reason for lusty women to go to Turkey: he's called Ugur Pektas and, having been in a reality show, is now a TV actor. Yummy.

Istanbul, not Constantinople

What's the opposite of homesickness?

The short story I'm currently writing is set in Turkey and primarily in Istanbul. This is a city I've been lucky enough to visit twice: once in 1998 and once in 2003. As a result I've got my holiday diaries to draw upon for notes (Always keep a diary when on holiday!), and rather a lot of photos (I have 65 photo-albums so far, and now I've got a digital camera I'm taking more and better pictures). I've been looking through them all.

I don't actually like big cities as a rule, but Istanbul is something else. Magical.

Now I've got anti-home-sickness. I want to go abroad, desperately. I want to amble round museums and buy postcards. I want to explore Roman ruins and learn the histories of places I've never heard of. I want to wake up at 6am to the sound of the muezzin's call to prayer, and fall asleep again with a big happy smile on my face. I want that curious mix of insecurity and anticipation, and that feeling of connecting to a wider world. I want to experience the unfamiliar.

Holidays are really important to me. Hey: I spend almost no money on new clothes, shoes or make-up throughout the year, so I don't feel bad about what I do spend my earnings upon. We have a few dedicated holiday buddies that we often travel with, who have similar interests and stamina levels. That's really important!

And when I look back, these trips abroad are some of my greatest memories. And the memories go into my stories.

Old Flame

I've just finished a story for my WIP (see right) which is set in, ahem, pre-revolutionary America. I had a lovely time researching it: Wikipedia of course(All Hail Wikipedia!), but I also re-read the early chapters of Bill Bryson's Made in America and Hawthorne's Young Goodman Brown and read for the first time Irving's The Legend of Sleepy Hollow - which believe me is not much like the film. Plus books on costume and tree magic and a set of postcards I bought at Plimoth Plantation * some years ago.

I was much vexed over the question of vocabulary to start with - do I use American words/spellings (which the copyeditor will instantly switch back to the British versions)? How do I cope with the fact that my male narrator is of Dutch stock? Would the local priest be a Reverend, a Pastor or a Preacher? Is the mountain ash known as a rowan over there too? Are there rooks in New England? Oh the perils of writing about an unfamiliar time and place...

(The answer to the last question is No, by the way, but there are flocking crows that can be ominous in the same way.)

All this paled as I was struck by the horrible thought: Will sex-with-the-devil be considered too uncomfortable a subject for US erotica readers? For about an hour I was in the grip of visions of my editor refusing to publish anything so contentious.

Then Mr Asbless said, "Like The Witches of Eastwick, you mean?" And suddenly everything was okay. I never thought I'd say it, but Thank Goodness for Jack Nicholson.

---

* NB: "Plymouth" the original English port is pronounced "Plimuth", while "Plimoth" the Amercian historical site is pronounced "PLYmouth". The English Language is a strange beast.

10,000 BC

10,000 BC was a strange movie for me to watch. Because basically it's a Janine Ashbless plot, only with less sex and more mammoths. To be specific, it's almost the same plot as Burning Bright, my 2007 novel: sexy long-haired warrior (Steven Strait, above) has the Lurv of his life kidnapped by slavers. He follows across hostile wilderness full of primitive but decent people and eventually catches up with her at Baddie HQ which is civilised and decadent. In rescuing girl he starts a popular uprising and brings about the downfall of the nasty civilisation. Hooray.


What can I say? If there was an R18 version of this movie I'd have loved it. As it was, it was an enjoyable fantasy romp with plenty of eye-candy and pretty scenery. And mammoths. I have nothing against mammoths. I do wonder what they eat, besides snow and sand.

The main thing to remember is that this should not be viewed as a film with a historical setting, because if you have even the faintest knowledge of geography, ancient history or biology it is utterly ludicrous. It is a fantasy film. Remember that and it's quite fun.

Movie overall: ***

Sweaty dreadlocked bare-chested quotient: *****

Write This

This Mitchell & Webb sketch was pointed out to me by Portia Da Costa. I love Mitchell and Webb but right now that sketch is just too painfully accurate to be funny.

Streakers

This is my favourite streaker photo, and probably the grand-daddy of them all. The guy is called Michael O'Brien and it was taken at the Twickenham rugby ground in 1974 during an England v. France match. There are a whole load of photos of this incident, but this particular frame somehow manages to be absolutely perfect. It's the grim-faced official hurrying up with a coat, the grin on the face of the policeman, and - above all - O'Brien's stance. Just for a microsecond the camera has caught him in the pose of a Renaissance-art Christ, which gives the whole thing a resonance and poignancy it otherwise would not have. Classic.

Smutwriters in their Natural Habitat

This pub, the Via Fossa in Manchester, is fast becoming my regular watering-hole. It's several hundred miles from where I live, mind, but when we Writers of Improving Literature for the Delectation of Gentlewomen get together, it's here.

And the sign on the wall says it all!

In shot: fellow writers Portia Da Costa and Madelynne Ellis (and some bags of goodies from Hotel Chocolat).

Doctors Who?

It's a cliche that all women have the hots for doctors. I don't, generally. But two of my favourite TV characters just happen to be doctors. Dr Cox, above, from Scrubs and Dr Gates from ER. Gates is better-looking. Cox is hotter. What have they got in common? Brains, a serious problem knuckling under to authority, and a good heart. I love Good Guys.

What gives Cox the edge? More brains, withering sarcasm (he is the epitome of Tough Love. In fact it's so tough it looks a lot like Hate at times.), and an all-consuming rage at the injustices and stupidities of this world. He is my hero.

God Told Me to Do It

I should stop listening to gods, you know.

Heroes

The TV series Heroes has finished airing on terrestrial here in the UK, so for the record I thought I'd build a little shrine to the two characters I thought the most beautiful.

Isaac Mendez (played by Santiago Cabrera)

Dr Mohinder Suresh (played by Sendhil Ramamurthy).

My First Tattoo

Lower back, done on Saturday 24th November 2007.
Tattoo artist was Theresa Gordon-Wade, who is really nice as well as being a great tattooist.

And they called it Puppet Love

Yes, this (the one on the right, I should point out) was my first crush - aged about 6 I should think. A hairy blue monster. Sweet natured, innocent and a bit exasperated by life.

Sesame Street is an awesome programme: educational, witty, humane and fun. I grew up on it because most English-language TV in Hong Kong was imported from America at the time I lived there . And I still love Grover.

Funny-Shaped Balls

This is Augustin Pichot, rugby player and captain of Argentina's national side. He converted me to watching rugby.