When I was 50...

Around my birthday every year I take a look back at what I've done for the first time EVER, just to check that I'm not actually dead of old age yet.

This year, sadly, has been very quiet on the travel front. Basically we have a frail and elderly dog so we haven't been able to go on holiday since last January. Maybe next year...

"No - I will live forever! Give me snacks!"

Anyway, when I was 50:

For the Very First Time:

• I rode on a banana-boat

• I had three publishing houses fold on me in one year - goddamnit! THREE!!! 
• I did my very first self-publishing, as a consequence - with more to follow

• I finished a novel trilogy: both In Bonds of the Earth and The Prison of the Angels were published this year
• I hosted a Facebook Promo Party - in fact I've done two now, if you count Blissemas on Tuesday
• I discovered that neat alcoholic spirits give me terrible indigestion. BOOO! I am getting old!
• I had a dishwasher installed. Don't tell Mr Ashbless, but I love it!
• I used a Rug Doctor and was impressed
• I used a juicer ... yeah, okay, someone shoot me now...
• I watched a branding (at Eroticon 2017)

• I went to the Leeds Festival (despite friends insisting it was VERY DANGEROUS)
• I saw ELO, Muse and Kasabian play live
• I sold all my vinyl records
• I had to handle serious fly-tipping in my wood
• I successfully escaped an escape room (we've beaten three out of four so far, in fact)
• I used a robo-loo! 
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• I attended a sibling's wedding (my sister's ... I missed my brother's a few years back because I was on holiday)
• I visited the James Herriot Museum AT LAST (it's up the road ... have I been there at any point in the last 27 years? Have I heck.) Thank you Jo 😉

• I set up a night camera in our wood and discovered that we have DEER, and DIFFERENT DEER, and FOXES, and BADGERS
• I helped shoot a porno - for real
• I stopped using shampoo for a month. It was okay, but expensive.
• I walked across the outside of the O2 Dome

• I discovered ZERO CALORIE GRAPE JELLY
• I went to  a strip show
• ... And a bin lorry ate my wheelie-bin!

 I'm hoping by next birthday to have done some more travel to new countries, and be in a new house ... we'll see!