There is such a thing as too much Slap

As a postscript to the Horror of the Fake Nails, I also had my face done for the photoshoot last week.

Contouring can do amazing things. I had long wondered wondered what I'd look like with a professional makeup job... and here's the answer:

Since it seems to be RUBY FECKING WAX I'm going to stick to my natural lumps in future 😲😂😭