Looking for a forever home

I am, in fact. We started the house-hunting process a couple weeks back...

BUT what really amused me was this article in the New Yorker, which is both extremely funny and horribly close to the bone.

So I wrote an adoption advert for myself:

Meet Janine. This sprightly old lady still has a lot of life left in her, and a lot of love to give to the right person, though she can also be happily left alone for up to twelve hours a day. Her breed is basically nocturnal, so don't expect any early morning walkies! In fact she will not demand much exercise at all, though she has learned a few basic tricks such as eventually getting dressed and answering emails. Janine loves cuddles and food; her new best friend will have to keep a careful eye on her diet and not let her have too many treats. Janine does not socialise well with packs or new people and will do best where she is the only writer in the home. Would suit someone with strong PC helpdesk skills. She should be kept away from children of all ages.