More ecclesiastical weirdry

Yes, I've been back to the 19th century, apparently

I've been travelling a bit these last few weeks so I thought I'd post some amusing and bizarre shit* from churches in Europe. No saintly corpses this time round though, sorry :-(

(* I'm being literal about the 'shit,' as you will see)

In the Oude Kirk in Amsterdam there are some crazy C16th carvings in the misericords (seats) of the choir:

"Two heads under one hood" - a proverb meaning two people who agree on everything

"You can't shit gold" - Money doesn't grow on trees!

She's doing SOMETHING to his arse - I thought whipping it, but one source says she is gathering up his turds, illustrating the proverb "Pull lightly on a weak rope" (!)

I think this means "Don't let your cat read grimoires under the bedclothes"

In St Peters' Abbey in Salzberg, there's a Dance of Death in the grounds:

This made me so happy

and the holy water basins are bat-winged skulls:

Not even slightly disturbing at all, no, not at all

In Salzberg Cathedral the plasterwork is full of evil faces:

And AS FOR THE CRYPT ... OMG! The Angel of Death!

Yes, the crypt is given over to terrifying little shadow puppets because... um ...it's Good for Your Soul

But the best find has to be a wax effigy of the dead Christ in the Cathedral Treasury. Not just dead, but cut open to reveal his intricately modeled intestines. I think I must have skipped that bit in Sunday School...

What the ...?

Noooooooo!