Mine's a latte

Since it's Good Friday I thought I'd blog something spiritually uplifting and not even slightly pervy. So I give you ...

The Miraculous Lactation of Saint Bernard!

The story is that St Bernard of Clairvaux was praying before a statue of Mary and as he spoke the line "Show me you are a mother," the statue came to life and squirted milk - with impressive accuracy - onto his face. Sometimes it's said it hit him in the eyes and cured an eye infection, other times it's said it got him in the open mouth to quench his parched lips.

St Bernard was one of the big influences behind both the disastrous Second Crusade and the rise of Marianism in the medieval Catholic Church. He was a big fan of the lactating Mary, and once had a nice dream about her sticking her boob in his mouth, when he nodded off during prayer:

I am of course fully aware that, theologically speaking, Mary's breast milk represents charity and intercessory grace - nothing sexual. Just as I am totally sure that neither the painters, nor the clients who commissioned any of these expensive works of art showing a lovely young woman with her tits out, had anything in mind but the purest of motives.

So there.

I'm not going to point out that the model for this painting was the king's mistress