Movie review: Prince of Persia

"Meh."

This film should so have been perfect for me, as I am just the biggest fan of Arabian Nights romance/adventures. And to be fair there were bits I found impressive - the glorious scenery, the costumes, the moral ambiguity of the three brothers, the bit where the Prince kills hmself...

But some bits were embarrassingly baaad ... like the hamfisted attempts to play certain scenes for laughs. WHY? Why couldn't they take themselves seriously? And if they did have to dump a rogueish comedy bandit into the movie, couldn't they have afforded to cast Omid Djalili, who is the god of such roles? Oh hold on, he's actually Iranian - silly me.  Straying perilously close to ethnic authenticity there.

The real reason I feel "meh" though is the Prince himself. He jumps around the scenery like bloody Tigger, but that's better than when he slows down enough that you can focus on his face. You know me: stick long dark hair and a leetle beard on almost any bloke and my estimation of his sexiness will rise 200%. But I still could not bring myself to fancy Jake Gyllenhaal, who has the expression of a gormless haddock and a concomitant level of charisma. And yes, it doesn't help that I'm still pissed off that they didn't cast John Abraham instead, who is rather more attractive (and of Persian extraction, incidentally). I thought I'd get over my humungous attack of the sulks once I saw the movie, but I haven't.