Well, in my non-writing life it's been a rather momentous week.
Like, I am officially a Parent now.
Okay, you can pick your jaws back up off the floor! What I mean is, Mr Ashbless and I went to the bank on Friday to ask for a Gurt Big Loan (a nice sort of loan, with which to do lovely things, not a bad we-are-about-to-eat-the-dogs one). The advisor went through our details and asked me what I did for a living.
"I'm a self-employed writer," I said.
So he got his drop-down list onscreen and looked through it, and we could not find a category I would naturally fit in. Clerical? Teaching?
"Are you trying to judge risk?" I asked.
"I'm trying to judge reliability of guaranteed income," said he. It took me some time to stop laughing.
"Uh, no. I've no guaranteed income. You're going to have to work out the loan based on my husband's income only."
"Right," he said; "then in that case I'm going to put you down as this, so that we don't have to fiddle about with questions." And he put me down as PARENT/HOMEMAKER.
Let that be a lesson to you, aspiring writers ;-)
In my writing life ...
I have a whole bunch of short stories out there whining at the doors of various editors to be let in. Three of them have been told "Maybe."
There's a "Maybe - it's a good story but it's really long. Wait till I see what else I'm offered." There's a "Maybe! You've made it through the first round of cuts!" And there's a "Yes! But ... we have to wait for the publisher's final say-so on the lineup."
See? No guarantees.
Now I'd better go walk my three hairy cat-chasing children.
Well, congratulations on all your babies, hairy or wordy or otherwise.
ReplyDeleteAnd of course, your lovely home.
This isn't a big up for feminsm, or writers though, is it? You have to laugh. I would have thought there'd be a special writers-in-debt category...
They all look so cute at that age...
ReplyDeleteTo Jo's point, here's what I wonder. What would they grab from the pulldown menu if the woman has the "steady income" job and the husband is the author?
To be fair Craig, it did say "parent/homemaker" not "mother/housewife" - which is some sort of advance over the last few decades.
ReplyDeleteWriters are dirt poor, by and large, Jo. There's no getting away from it! (Unless we are lucky enough to be kept by spouses who toil for The Man. Or, I suppose, unless we are blessed with constitutions that allow us to do a full time job and then write until 3am every night. I do know one writer who does this, but it ain't me.)
*sigh*
What a shock so early in the morning! Deep breaths. I think I'd prefer the cat-chasing type...
ReplyDeleteTo Craig, having been in the position where I was the principle wage earner and my husband's on minimum wage, what happens is that actually some people just didn't believe me. They were usually the same ones that made stupid remarks in the office, along the line of "Shouldn't you be at home cleaning the house?" So glad I don't work for them any more.
Good lord, Beth.
ReplyDeleteJanine, I would have expected there to be a 'starving artist/writer' category :)
To Beth, sadly I know a few men who still think like that. It still amazes me in this day and age, but I guess there's no age that transcends stupidity.
ReplyDeleteIt's sort of like the "What do you do?" with the implied "what's your job?" I hate that question (I just got it the other night) and I've yet to come up with a smartypants answer - which I really want to have.
ReplyDeleteyeah, there should be a starving artist/writer catagory
and hey, nowadays, does ANYONE have a steady income????
Given the number of people I know who've been made redundant I doubt there's any such thing as stable employment these days. The last time I had to have my occupation 'judged' in this way was for car insurance (apparently occupation makes a difference to your premium) and 'author' wasn't on the list. We went through a bunch of options until a suitably cheap one emerged, so apparently I'm an 'educational consultant' - I guess in a way we can all claim what we do is educational...
ReplyDeletethere's no age that transcends stupidity lol
ReplyDeletePersonally, I am still waiting to be old enough that I transcend stupidity!
Yes, I rather liked the "Academic and educational" category, Fulani!
ReplyDelete:-D
In social situations, I wish instead of "What do you do?" people would ask "What's your bag?" Then one could easily answer from any one of a number of vantage points, e.g., cultural interests, hobbies, careers, or sexual turn-ons. : )
ReplyDeleteLol, Jeremy.
ReplyDeleteIt might happen if you holiday in the 1970s. teehee!
Amidst all the excitement, no one seems to have mentioned the very lovely and extremely arty picture.
ReplyDeleteVery lovely, and extremely arty.
Arty porn is my bag.
ReplyDelete:-)
I was going to say, wasn't the category "Parent/Homemaker"? That isn't gender-specific, which I certainly appreciate.
ReplyDelete"I guess there's no age that transcends stupidity"
HA! For some reason the phrasing on that made me laugh out loud. :)
I like the picture too! Congratulations on your loan, Janine. :)
'No age that transcends stupidity' - [cough] - you're right, I'm still as stupid as I was when I was a teenager... Oh, I get it, that wasn't what you meant!
ReplyDeleteGiven the size of the adult market now and the involvement of big TV companies in adult cable channels, etc. etc., you'd have thought by now the occupational lists would have 'pornographer' as an option.
I think the bank man would have had a fit if I'd said "Pornographer"!
ReplyDeleteHeh heh heh
I think the bank man would have had a fit if I'd said "Pornographer"!
ReplyDeleteBut not if you'd said "wealthy pornographer." It's funny how fast bankers can cast morals aside when cold hard cash is involved.
I'd agree with Craig. Above a certain income level, you can say what you like to the banks. I have friends who run stalls at the London Fetish Fair, Birmingham Bizarre Bazaar etc. and even at their level the banks have no qualms about their line of business (they do charge them over-the-top rates on internet transactions though). I'd assume my bank knows, at least potentially, that I write porn because they receive the bank transfers from publishers who have very 'adult' company names.
ReplyDeleteHowever, as to what bankers think of as porn - at the moment, my bank balance wouldn't get them very excited! I recently worked out that to bring in a decent royalty income from the e-published stuff I do, I need to get around 100 more short stories, 25 novellas or 12 novels out there... so it's back to the grindstone for me now.