10,000 BC

10,000 BC was a strange movie for me to watch. Because basically it's a Janine Ashbless plot, only with less sex and more mammoths. To be specific, it's almost the same plot as Burning Bright, my 2007 novel: sexy long-haired warrior (Steven Strait, above) has the Lurv of his life kidnapped by slavers. He follows across hostile wilderness full of primitive but decent people and eventually catches up with her at Baddie HQ which is civilised and decadent. In rescuing girl he starts a popular uprising and brings about the downfall of the nasty civilisation. Hooray.


What can I say? If there was an R18 version of this movie I'd have loved it. As it was, it was an enjoyable fantasy romp with plenty of eye-candy and pretty scenery. And mammoths. I have nothing against mammoths. I do wonder what they eat, besides snow and sand.

The main thing to remember is that this should not be viewed as a film with a historical setting, because if you have even the faintest knowledge of geography, ancient history or biology it is utterly ludicrous. It is a fantasy film. Remember that and it's quite fun.

Movie overall: ***

Sweaty dreadlocked bare-chested quotient: *****