Every Monday I post a naughty excerpt for your entertainment!
Today's guest is Oleander Plume with an excerpt from her new book,
Horatio Slice: Guitar Slayer of the Universe.
She says:
When Janine told me she needed an excerpt that was “The ruder the better!”, I rubbed my filthy hands together and laughed like a villain in a super hero movie. Here’s the thing, my book is not short on sex, in fact, it’s filled to the brim with it. Which made picking a scene kind of difficult. In the end, I chose this, which is a favorite of my editor, Jacob Louder. In this scene, Snake (space pirate/vampire) meets a werewolf sentry named Grif and a game of seduction begins…
Horatio Slice is NOT dead.
Gunner Wilkes knows a secret. Heartthrob rock star Horatio Slice is not dead. Sure, Gunner may turn heads with his big brain, good looks, and gym-built body, but his mind is on one thing only: returning his all-time favorite rocker and secret fanboy crush to Earth.
Yes, there are VAMPIRE PIRATES
Fame and stardom were starting to wear thin for Horatio Slice, but when he was sucked through a magical portal while on stage at Madison Square Garden into a jail cell in a strange dimension called Merona, his confusion quickly cleared upon meeting his sexy, dark-haired cellmate, a vampire pirate named Snake Vinter, who filled Horatio in about life in the universe, jumping from dimension to dimension, and craftily avoiding the wrath of gnarly-mask-wearing leather queen King Meridian—a guy nobody wants to cross.
All the zany magical comedy of Mel Brooks, an adventure not dissimilar to Indiana Jones
meets Barbarella
, and men, men, horny men, of all shapes and sizes, Horatio Slice, Guitar Slayer of the Universe is wild, fun, pornographic fiction for anyone who loves the masculine, the feminine, and all identities in between. Even more so, it’s for cravers—for aficionados—of big, hard, pounding cock, and anyone who can handle laughs that won't stop coming.
Snake checked on Sugar and Canis, who were dead to the world. After putting on pants, he crept to the kitchen, pausing to throw a blanket over Horatio and Gunner before grabbing two beers and heading outside. The sentry turned out to be an auburn-haired hunk of a werewolf named Grif, who had a bushy tail that reached his ankles and a firm handshake. They drank their beers and shared small talk while leaning against the ship, gradually moving closer together. Grif was a mature wolf with a more powerful musk than Canis. Snake grew weak in the knees.
“Sexy tats, Snake. Sexy body, too.” Grif stared at Snake’s chest and used a finger to trace a tattoo.
“What does this one signify?”
“Sugar, my lover. Funny thing, they all say Sugar. Each tattoo spells out his name in different languages and symbols.”
“Sugar must be one hell of a mate. Tell me about him.”
“Let’s see, how do I describe Sugar?” Snake panted as Grif sucked his left nipple. “He’s a beautiful badass … yeah, suck my tits … keeps his lip gloss in the same holster that he keeps his gun.”
“What color are his eyes?” Grif licked a trail from Snake’s left nipple to his right.
“Green.” Snake groaned as Grif switched from tongue to teeth. “I’m fairly certain they can … stare a hole through steel.”
“And his body?” Grif pinched both of Snake’s tits while nibbling along his collar bone.
“Perfect. All muscle.” Snake put his palms against the ship, fingers spread, in the hopes of grounding himself. Grif’s seduction made him dizzy. “Soft skin that always smells sweet.”
Grif crouched and tugged down the front of Snake’s pants, kissing the spot where pubic hair would grow if he had any. “Tell me about his dick.”
“Big. Thick. Pink and kind of shimmery.”
Grif stood and reached behind Snake, sliding one finger down the back of his pants until it teased the top of Snake’s crack. “Do you let him bend you over and put that shimmery dick up this ass? Does he fuck you good?” he said, right against Snake’s ear.
“Really good,” Snake said, eyes shut tight. “Really fucking good.”
Grif said, “He won’t object if I play with you?”
“No,” Snake said. “If he were awake, he’d want to watch.”
“Bet you already fucked him to sleep,” Grif said, kneading Snake’s ass while keeping his eyes averted. Snake buzzed with excitement. He’d played wolf games before and understood their tactics. Grif would use his scent to ensnare Snake’s senses, all the while avoiding Snake’s vampire gaze. “You smell like sex,” Grif murmured against Snake’s neck. His tongue slithered along Snake’s jawline. “Taste like it, too.”
Snake kept his breath shallow so he wouldn’t inhale as much wolf perfume. The game was heady enough. A battle of will and lust, Snake fought hard to emerge the victor, but Grif proved to be a cunning adversary. The wolf had a sixth sense of what turned Snake on: dirty talk, nipple sucking, and slow teasing. Winning would require cheating, a tactic Snake wasn’t above using on occasion.
Grif cupped Snakes bulge. “Lot of meat in here.”
Snake noticed Grif’s cock twitch. He knew the wolf was using extreme control to keep himself from getting a hard-on. “Maybe you want this meat inside you?”
Grif smirked, still staring down. “You’ll be taking mine,” he said. “Might as well give in, vamp.”
Snake snickered. “Let me see those eyes of yours, wolf.” Grif shook his head. “You’re not playing fair.” Snake put his fingers under Grif’s chin and forced him to look up. A millisecond of eye contact, and Snake had him under control. “You do have pretty eyes, pet, as golden as the sun.”
Grif wore a goofy grin. “You win vampire,” he said. “Bend me over.”
“I’d rather you fucked me,” Snake said, stroking Grif’s hard cock.
Grif said, “But you won fair and square, so you get to be alpha. Those are the rules.”
Snake reached lower and fondled Grif’s balls. “But I cheated, so I’m relinquishing the role of alpha to you, and I expect the full treatment.”
Grif licked his lips. “I’ve never fucked a vamp before.”
“Oddly enough, I’ve fucked a few of your cousins,” Snake said.
“Loup Garous?” Grif’s nostrils flared and his voice grew harsh. “They’re vile.”
“Yeah, but they don’t look so bad bent over.”
Grif chuckled. “I like you, vampire. Want my dick?”
Snake rubbed his face against Grif’s furred chest and took a long inhale, allowing the buzz to sink into his guts.
“That’s it,” Grif said. “Drink me in. Let me take over.” He grabbed Snake by the hair. “Now get on your knees and suck me.”
Snake complied, then opened his throat and let Grif fuck his face. It seemed fitting that he should be taken by this wild creature outside, under a brilliant moon, with the odor of crushed grass wafting up from beneath his knees. Grif put both hands on the back of Snake’s head and ground against his face.
“I’m ready for your ass to swallow me now,” Grif said, pushing Snake face down onto the ground and lowering Snake’s pants just enough for access. He mounted Snake, holding him in place with one strong arm while the other gripped a wad of hair. Snake emitted a guttural cry when Grif’s fat dick speared his eager hole. Grif fucked him with the fervor of a dog in heat, slamming hard, causing Snake’s cock to rub against the soft ground.
Grif said, “You want a wolf bite, vamp?”
“Fuck, yeah. Do it,” Snake moaned.
“Tell me when.”
“Now.” Right before Snake came, Grif bit into the back of his neck, paralyzing him and ratcheting up the pleasure one-thousand percent. Snake heard a keening moan split the night and realized that he was the moaner, howling as he created a puddle on the grass.
Buy Horatio Slice: Guitar Slayer of the Universe at:
Amazon US ::
Amazon UK
Go Deeper Press
Oleander Plume writes (mostly gay) erotica while sipping martinis, and, yes, they are dirty martinis.
She lives in Chicago.
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